1. The green man means nothing to Parisian drivers. Learn to say 'putain, c'est vert!' and you might just avoid getting run over.
2. Most Parisians seem to have got their driving license from a joke shop. 3 point turns on roundabouts, reversing all the way down a street, parking on a corner, parking over a crossing.... Parking bumper to bumper is not unusual. Can't get out of your parking space? Tough.
3. When street hawkers approach you rattling mini eiffel towers or trying to fix bracelets on your wrists, don't speak English. Or, just don't speak and run away.
4. People don't tend to pick up dog poo. And a lot of Parisians have dogs.
5. Be prepared to pack your bags as fast as you can at the supermarket because the cashier will not wait until you've moved your stuff to start serving the next person. Much more importantly, if there is no 'next customer' separator thing, wait your turn otherwise the cashier will just scan your stuff with someone elses.
6. Sometimes the train driver apparently just decides he's not stopping at your stop. He will announce this, but in a very crackly way. Who cares if you end up four stops from home?
7. You can open the doors of metros and RER's while they're still moving. Balance and timing is essential.
8. Men will call after you, ask for your number, compliment you ridiculously (I look like Madonna apparently) and make horrendous amounts of eye contact on public transport. If you're super lucky, they might even follow you down the street.
9. Listening to your iPod on the Metro? Vigorously bop your head and mouth the words, it's okay.
10. Metro stations have more than one exit. Be prepared to be miles away from your intended destination if you make the wrong choice.
11. Fresh milk doesn't exist here (Well, I haven't found it yet!). Get used to everything UHT or 'raw' milk which is completely untreated and straight from the cow.
12. You're eating dinner at 6? What are you, an animal? Dinner doesn't happen here until at least 8pm.
13. The need for personal space isn't really understood here. Oh you wanted to sit outside a cafe? Be prepared for someone to sit so close to you that your arms touch every time you pick up your drink.
14. Always respond when someone greets you! (You should do this anywhere you live, to be fair...)
15. Ca va is not equivalent to 'alright?'. If you're not interested in a conversation, don't say it.
16. Buy a big long scarf. Since I've been wearing my scarf, more and more people seem to think I belong here.
17. Getting the attention of a waiter is quite difficult. Decide you want a drink well in advance of being really thirsty.
18. American tourists are the worst tourists (well nearly all the ones I've seen). They call everything 'cute', order food obnoxiously, mispronounce all the signs and wonder why even I don't have a clue what they're talking about and they call everything 'cute'. So annoying it needed mentioning twice.
19. Although the metro is very good, walk as much as you can if you have the time. There's always something to see.
20. They don't sell single chocolate bars in smaller supermarkets. Use vending machines, newsagents or if you're feeling cheeky, buy a pack of 3 Mars Bars for 2.00. They're half the size, by the way.
21. It's not a stereotype that French people walk around with baguettes under their arms. They really do.
23. Avoid FNAC at all costs unless you have a lot of time to waste, endless patience and spare deodorant in your bag.
Bonus: Paris is ridiculously beautiful at night, everything is gold, even the river.
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| It should be night all the time. |
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