Home Sweet Home

Hello from Essex! I'm currently sitting in my living room by my Christmas tree, drinking tea and watching Mock the Week. It really doesn't feel like I've been away for 3 months but I'm sure it will hit me tomorrow when I go into town for Christmas shopping...I've already been shocked by the politeness of the Tube, the friendly banter of a cab driver and the beautiful taste of semi-skimmed pasteurised milk. But what will I miss about Paris? Here's a nice list for you, to round off the first part of my Year Abroad.

The people I've met
I've literally met some brilliant people in the last 3 months and without them, it wouldn't have been very bearable. It also feels quite cool (soz) to say I have contacts in South America. 

The amount of bakeries
Self explanatory really. Tesco croissants have got nothing on the real deal. Anywhere, any time.

Cheaper tobacco
As a dirty smoker, this is something I will really miss. 30g of Pall Mall Red cost me €6,90, (£5.51) here 25g of the same costs just over £7.

Living on the same train line as Notre Dame
There's something pretty special getting on a train 5 mins from where you live and 15 mins later arriving in front of Notre Dame and of course, Saint Michel....

Saint-Michel
I know this place is teeming with tourists but there are some really cheap places to eat and the best crepes, in my opinion.

Mr Gould and Frau Horstmann
Easily the best teachers at ISIT. Gould's lessons were hilarious- I particularly enjoyed 'What's a sex nun?'. Horstmann is one of the most adorable people EVER and I wish I could just bring her back to Nottingham. EMPLOY HER PLEASE

Free'p'star
One of the best shops I've ever been to. It looks like your average vintage shop but climb a practically vertical ladder at the back of the shop and you'll find 3 huge boxes of of clothes, which you can rummage through to your heart's content. Best part is that everything the boxes is €1! There are three shops but the best one is on rue de la Verrerie in the Marais.

Hearing 'putain' all the time
'Putain' is a bit like 'fuck', in that you can say it on it's own or describing something but it actually means 'whore'. I literally it  heard thousands of times a day and actually found myself saying it quite a lot too. I missed the last train home once and loudly said it in response to being told I'd have to get a bus. I actually also said it today, to my suitcase when it got stuck on a corner. Am I Parisian yet?


And the things I wont' be missing....

The lack of manners
Parisians are just so rude and don't seem to grasp the concept of basic etiquette. They will literally push you with their hands and literally shove you. The other day, I very nearly slipped down the gap between train and platform because they are just incapable. They'll just barge past you and won't say excuse me. You'll normally only get a reticent 'pardon' if you breathe loudly and agitatedly. 

The price of everything!
Paris is ridiculously expensive, to the point where I now think a meal for 15 quid is the deal of a century.

Slimy men
I don't understand why people think it's normal to walk past someone and say 'oooh bonjour' whilst winking. Just let me walk to the station please without being propositioned by the scabbiest men this side of the Seine.

The stench of some metro stations
Some metro stations would have been condemned by British authorities. One of these was line 4 at Chatelet. There was a homeless man who was there for like, 6 weeks and he had an unfortunate habit of pissing and shitting himself. You literally had to hold your breath on that platform.

The lack of pie
WHY DON'T FRENCH PEOPLE EAT STEAK AND KIDNEY PIE?
that is all.

I'll add more as they come to me! This'll be my last post before Christmas, so Merry Christmas!

x

Buying tat and pretending to be rich

Cou cou! (I hate this greeting, personally, but w/e)

The last week has gone stupidly fast and 3 of my lessons are finished! No more Gsell, no more Horstmann (cry) and no more Solem...the teacher of the horrendously horrible interpretation class. Which I barely attended and didn't really contribute to, but oh well. I feel like I made good use of my last proper week in Paris though and I really dragged last night out by wandering around by the river and sitting in a bus stop for 20 minutes before realising that N.14 to Cachan was only a night bus. Luckily, I was alone and no one saw me scuttle away to the RER.

Last Sunday, Niamh, Joe and I went to another vide grenier by Gare de l'Est. I think it's safe to say that this area leaves a fair bit to be desired but it was fairly successful in that I bought myself a miniature Chanel No.5 perfume (box and all) for 4 euros, a scissors pin for my big bruvva (he works in a jean tailor shop okay) an old photograph of Trafalgar Square, a Moscow mcdonalds pin and a Paris mirror for my niece (I bluntly told the seller 'I take it for 2', completely forgetting that future tense existed, apparently.)

a crappy picture of my quite crappy purchases

Monday started off as a very shitty day though I was cheered up by Joe and Niamh as per and we made Stollen for our last German lesson with Horstmann. It turned out ridiculously well and was bloody delicious. Though, apparently white marzipan is non-existent? We could only find pink, green and yellow. Okay then.

Fast forward to Thursday,because I can't remember if anything exciting happened in between. Elinor and I went to the La Defense christmas market but were quite disappointed. It was more traditional than the Champs Elysee one and I did chow down on a delicious Bretzel but it just wasn't very...German. Obviously. That night was the ISIT Christmas Gala that Joe managed to persuade me to go to (I really bloody didn't want to) but it turned out to be really good. I literally danced the night away, found a 'secret' room, put my foot through a chair and smoked in a 'fumoir', which I will NEVER do again. It was literally a room with no windows open. I might be a smoker, but ugh no thank you!

IT'S JUST SO BELLE

I didn't get to bed until 6am, which was unfortunate as I was going to the Galeries Lafayette with Elinor, for a free fashion show. I managed it sans incident though and it was well worth it, mainly because I can now say 'Oh yes, I've been to a fashion show in Paris.' Never mind that it was full of Japanese and American tourists. No one needs to know that, okay? 

me and the insane Christmas tree, again

Elinor had a class afterwards, so I had a little wander and decided to go to the opera house. There was a plan in the air to go to a performance with Ines and the others, but it never happened so I decided to pay 6 euros and a have a butchers myself. It was worth it, I just wish I could have dressed up and gone properly!

Imagine sitting up there! One day, one day

On Saturday, Niamh and I ventured to another vide grenier but this one wasn't quite as good and was mainly antiques. Saying that, Niamh did buy some more pins (she's got about a hundred now, I think she has a problem.) As usual, I was whinging about being hungry but Niamh was insistent we get to the church jumble sale she'd heard about. I grabbed a muffin and we took a pleasant walk through Jardin des Plantes where we stumbled upon one of THE most exciting carousels I've ever seen.

I wanted to ride it, but was persuaded not to

We did eventually find the correct church and it actually made me feel very home. Every year, Moulsham Street in Chelmsford has a Christmas parade and the church always has a Christmas fair, so this place actually gave me that warm bubbly feeling (never thought I'd say that about a church). I bought a nice shirt and tried on several pairs of boots (they were all 1 euro!!) but my calves are so horrifically large that they wouldn't go on my legs, fantastic.

After this, we walked to Les Halles and we sat in a 'Nabab' where I had a burger and Niamh pinched some chips. I don't know why, but I insisted on no sauce? Wierdo. It was a good burger though and prepared me for the long walk down Rue St. Honore to the Chanel shop! My sister sent me the money to go and buy myself some No.5 for myself for Christmas and I'm glad she did- I felt ridiculously posh and rich asking for what I wanted and watching as she wrapped it all up. I just hope she didn't notice the tatty carrier bag in my hand. Oops.

And so we come to Sunday, which began with a very hungover Joe eating a kebab at 11am and obscuring the tourist's view of Notre Dame. Hilarious way to begin our last touristy day together, I'm surprised he survived the 40 minute train journey! We got to Versailles (which looked like a really lovely town) at about 12 and barely queued, though we did have to leave our picnic (I say picnic, but it was really just biscuits and an orange) at the bag drop-off. Oh, France, all these beautiful gardens and we can't have a picnic. Versailles was incredible though and is probably one of the most luxurious, indulgent and ridiculous places I've ever seen, ever. The gardens were also beautiful, but as Joe wasn't feeling very sprightly we ended up sitting a lot and soaking up the sun- which was not a bad thing, it was refreshing to actually be in countryside.

beautiful...and a woman's butt

'this room is bigger than my flat'

Me and my horrendously large calves at the Palais

I must have been more tired than I thought because today I slept through my alarm and woke up feeling very poorly. I spent the day in bed before venturing out to Franprix to get some ice cream. Boo hoo, woe is me and all that...I just hope I feel better for Thursday as I will be catching a very early train to Strasbourg!

x

Hello my name is Kirsty, but you can call me Kristy

Salut! My my, the last seven days have been busy and apart from the slight inconvenience of a chesty cough, I've loved (nearly) every minute. I am, however, sorry to inform you all that I STILL don't have a duvet. But I do have a nice blanket and it's been hot here the last few days so it's not been too bad.

On Saturday, I went with Leah and her friend to an exhibition at the Netherlands Institute. I rarely do stuff like that, so it was good to go and get some culture! Spending the afternoon with two Frenchies was also excellent practice, even if we did just laugh at the more peculiar stuff. I think I probably said, 'Oui, c'est fascinant' too many times. I also had to explain why I was giggly at the name 'Hieronymus Cock'.

A rather horrifying engraving by Mr.Cock

Agathe, Leah et moi

Lessons started on Monday and I actually managed to get myself there without some ridiculous incident, I know right? The first lesson was about note-taking for interpreters. I was totally lost, considering I'd never done anything like that before and we have to take the time to learn our own personal symbols....it's like shorthand, but more diabolical. Then I had a German grammar lesson which went reasonably well and was relieved that it was taught in German. I don't think I could deal with somebody teaching me German grammar in French...

Doing my homework on the first day, keeno

The following morning, I woke up feeling like someone had run over my head with a truck. I figured soup would be a great idea so I went to Simply and was wandering around for at least ten minutes before I found any. It was in all cartons. So not right. Got into Uni for 2, which was a French class for us Erasmus people and it was all well and good until the teacher asked for an info sheet on all of us - including our permanent address in England and our phone numbers?! She also wants a picture of each of us...fuck that! Is she an identity thief or something? So weird! By the end of the next lesson (English to French translation) that afternoon, I was absolutely done and ready for my strange cartonned soup and my bed.

Wednesday was marginally better; after my German to French translation lesson (kill me, right) a lovely French girl called Rachel invited me to eat at MacDonalds with her friends. I felt very sorry for the soggy sandwich in my rucksack, but hey ho. I am also feeling sorry for my name, most of the french people call me 'Kristy' or 'Keerrrsty'. Oh well.  Then I metro'd back to the other building for French- English translation and decided I absolutely love the teacher. He reminds me a bit of Hannibal Lecter, but I'll just not think about that. Me and a guy from Edinburgh (an amusing mec called Joe), had a German oral lesson next and CAN I JUST SAY, my new favourite thing is French people speaking in German. They struggle with the 'h' and 'sch' so much and it makes me feel better about myself.

After class, we tried buy a vocab book that we needed for German, so into FNAC we go. It was honestly just one of the worst shops I've ever been in. The books are on the fourth floor, we find the book in a complete disorganised mess and have to queue to ask for another one. Wrong queue. Next queue, no book. Order instore? Oh no. So, no tills on the top floor, so went all the way back down again and there were only 3 tills open and about 20 people in each queue. We were in the queue for half an hour. Joe thought a fox was a goat, so I think that says it all about exhaustion really.

Yesterday was homework day. At least, half of it was, until Hannah text and I met her at Uni to sign up for integration weekend. It's 180 euros, jesus h, but I'm hoping it will be worth it! We then paid a visit to the Conciergerie, which was morbidly fascinating. I didn't quite have the guts to touch a guillotine blade but I did have a good old chuckle at Prince Napoleon's request for a foot massage.

The reconstruction of Marie Antoinette's Cell. Shat myself.

We also paid a visit to Saint Chapelle, which is honestly one of the most beautiful places I have ever set foot in.

My camera does not do this place any justice

And now, we come to today, which was spent up the Eiffel Tower and in Marks and Spencers with Joe and Niamh, also from Edinburgh. We walked to the second floor (needless to say, I wanted to well, not) and then got the lift all the way to the top. Niamh was quite calm, but me and Joe were a mess! The lift made my ears pop, it was so hot and sticky and crowded and the top deck is so small. But the views were definitely worth it!

From the top, North Paris...maybe?

trying not to soil ourselves

Tomorrow will not be as fun, unfortunately. 9.30- 12.30 compulsory seminar for our note taking class. If I don't get a good job after Uni, someone is getting sued.

Assimilation almost complete

Bon soir! All is well here in the land of the snail, I have my timetable and student card now, and am pretty much ready to start my term at ISIT on Monday...at 8am. Why me? Anyway, it's not been all plain sailing this week. On Wednesday, I was almost an hour late meeting Hannah at the Louvre because I got ridiculously lost when I got out of the Metro. On the upside, I found the Mona Lisa on my first attempt this time. It's also amazing to be be able to get into these places for free, being an 18-26 year old EU resident. Sweet.

The Louvre Pyramid at night

It was quite a cultured evening, until I stole a lighter from a tourist shop on the way back to the RER station. I was desperate for a lighter and there was no one around so I just thought, okay. But, for those of you who are appalled by this, you'll be reassured that karma really does exist - the lighter didn't work.

The following day was even worse. We had our Uni meetings (so it was just Hannah and I for Nottingham) , so I navigated myself to rue Cassette which is our main building, for 11. After running around, being asked if I was there for an exam (?!), I asked reception where I should be. rue de Pondichery, you say? Oh right, well that's in another arrondissement and 4 metro stops away. I was close to tears at one point, oh dear. I finally got there and it was all tickety-boo, but that morning was my first real oh-my-god-this-is-the-end-of-the-world that I've had here so far.

View from the 6th floor of main uni building!

Enough tales of woe, last night I climbed the Arc de Triomphe (for free!) and that was beautiful. It was supposed to be an Erasmus trip and Hannah and I did meet up with them....but then they left? It was just me, Hannah and another girl called Hannah on the top. Never mind, we stayed until it was dark and then strolled down Champs-Elysees. Classy birds.

view from the top - 284 steps!

I like cheesy bridge photos, okay?

I also managed to open a bank account yesterday, the only issue being he thought I was Irish (because he asked about my surname and my passport cover has Eire and the harp on it) and very nearly wrote it on my account details. Oops. He said my French was good, well yes I should hope so, considering I slipped a cheeky subjunctive in there! I've also finally sorted myself a Navigo pass, thanks to Eleanor's assistance, yay! I shall be a true Parisian from Monday.

NO MORE TINY TICKETS FOR MOI

The Beginning!

 

Yo, I'm Kirsty, I'm 20 and I am about to start my Year Abroad!

I fly to Paris on the 10th September, where I'll study translation at ISIT until January. Then I'm off to Berlin for a 6 month internship with a small translation agency.

It's going to be amazing, but if you know me, you'll know I'm more worried than Melman from Madagascar.

A (relatively) recent one of me in a forest, in Sweden. Hej!

It's been a stressful few months of preparation and I only found out last month about the internship- which I am over the moon about! I booked my flight to gay Par-ee yesterday and now the biggest thing left on my list is to buy some insurance. I've purchased a suitcase that's almost as big as me, I've photocopied important stuff about a hundred times, I've filled a plastic folder with sheets of bureaucracy, and, perhaps most importantly, I've bought a pug duvet for my room in Paris. I think I'm physically quite ready, in other ways probably not!

Here, I'll keep record of my continental frolics, just to remind myself really! If anyone does actually read this, ha ha, I hope you enjoy it!