On being a tourist (guide)

Hi! It feels like ages since I last properly blogged. Since then, I've spent hours in muesums, given up on Jean, signed up for German evening classes, danced all night to Madonna, toured my mum and her partner around most things of historical relevance, had an accident and have pretty much finished planning my August adventure. 

So a couple of weekends ago, it was der Lange Nacht der Museen, where museums are open until the early hours. My mum's initial reaction when I told her about it was "What's so special about that?" Oh mother! You are right about 99% of things, but not this. What could be better than sitting on the steps of a museum filled with ancient Greek treasures, cup of tea in hand, at 12.45 am? Who needs alcohol when you've got a two day museum pass? Not me mate.

'Telephos goes to Argos' This amused me greatly.





the stuff of nightmares

who put the glad in gladiator? HERC-U-LEEES

Biggest dinosaur skeleton in the world, or sumfink

There was a room filled with sealife in jars.

Dunno what my legs are doing, but CURRYWURST

There was even an interactive takeaway van thing. This is Sophie serving you chips.

It was genuinely great, and Sophie and I clocked up 7 museums in what, 12 hours? The Pergamon (architecture), Neues (where Nefertiti's famous bust is), Altes (Ancient Greeks), Bodes (not entirely sure of the central theme, but a fair amount of Jesus), Naturkunde (nature, and the obligatory dinosaur skeletons), the Currywurst Museum (!!!!) and the Museum at Checkpoint Charlie, which was really moving. We got quite into it, and each bought a postcard of our favourite exhibit from each one.

Next item on the list - the German Tandem Partner Situation. I genuinely do not understand what happened there. I am not gonna make you read reems of my hypotheses. Lionel is still around though, and to combat the lack of Jean, I signed up for an 4 week evening class course. I just figured I needed something. It was also born out of a moment of mild panic when I realised that I have 2 months left and my German is not as good as I want it to be! Yesterday I tried out a class, and I loved it. Due to time issues, I can't go to B2 classes because of work, so have to make do with B1-B2. It's fine so far and is quite nice to feel like a freaking boss but I might go to a C1 class just to see if that is challenging enough not to be painful, if not, I don't mind too much staying in this class I'm just worried I will get too comfortable and complacent ...



Saturday  before last was Madonna night. Hilary, Guy, Hilary's flatmate Daniel and I headed out to a Club in Neukölln (yes!) at like 1am and sweatily danced the night away to Madonna, Kylie, Britney ,etc. It was awesome. Mainly because of the fact there was music with lyrics, shock horror. And a lot of oiled, but sadly homosexual, torsos jumping around.


The next day my mother arrived! I was so excited to see her, and it was so cute to see her little face bobbing in the crowd. We went out for dinner that night at Italo, which was lovely because my mum loves Italian food and was in her element. The following day, my historical tour began. Starting with *deep breath* Potsdamer Platz, Brandenburger Tor, tour of the Reichstag, Soviet War Memorial in the Tiergarten, the memorial for the 1953 uprising at the Federal Ministry of Finance, Topography of Terror and a brief glance at the former Gestapo HQ, Checkpoint Charlie, Bebelsplatz (where the Nazis famously burnt the books), St. Hedwig's Cathedral, Berliner Cathedral, coffee in the Nikolai quarter, East Side Gallery and the Oberbaumbrücke and then finally DINNER.

Gross of me, but mum looks cute

It was just a prelude, because when you burn books, in the end you burn people too.

The Nikolai Quarter is so pretty

Mum bought me a new friend. Meet Sigmund.

'I remember'

East Side Gallery

Bit minging, but one of my favourite places in Berlin

Tuesday started off badly, that's for sure, as I somehow managed to slip and get my left leg stuck in the gap between the train and the platform. It felt like I was there forever but Mum has since assured me it was not even a minute before she pulled me up. After crying hysterically from the shock of it, we located a pharmacy and I patched up before I gallantly hobbled onwards to continue their tour. The leg is still bruised and still hurts. Sigh.


First off, I took them to J.F Kennedy Platz, then onto Ku'damm and the church, followed by the Siegesäule. We all paid to go in and the information was interesting but there was no way I could climb 285 spiral steps with my poor limb, so Mum and I didn't climb it in the end. Next stop was Bernauerstraße and the Wall Memorial. I visited this with Lewis in 2012, but I had no idea just how extensive the memorial was; the whole street was demolished to make way for the wall and so has been preserved almost in it's entirety. You can see the foundations of a church that once stood in between. You can see foundations of houses that were ripped down because people were using the windows that looked out onto the west side to escape. There was even video footage of a man shimmying down a sheet rope from a window. Lastly, they preserved part of the Death Strip. You climb a big viewing platform to see it properly and it's just, awful. Awful to think that it was only 24 years ago that it came down. The East Side Gallery is interesting, but I think Bernauerstraße really makes you realise just what this wall was, even though I will never get my head around it. It's a really tasteful memorial too, and I was pleased to see people were being respectful.

Do I really need to caption this?

After that, we rushed over to the Stasi Museum. By now it was absolutely chucking it down, so the weather was quite conducive to the tone of the day! We only had an hour there, so I showed them the most important bits. My mum has always been interested in spy stuff, so she was simultaneously fascinated and horrified.


We then went for dinner, opting for a place at Alexanderplatz. It was initially really good, until after we had eaten no one asked us if we wanted more drinks and we waited half an hour for the bill ...
After we all had a bit of a strop, we bought some biscuits and wine and hung out at their hotel until gone midnight.

hab' dich Lieb, mama

After dropping their stuff off at mine the next morning, I gave mum her birthday card and little present and there were some little tears too. Then, as an extra special birthday present, we went to see the site of Hitler's Bunker. It was chilling, and not just because it was pissing down. Saying goodbye at the Airport was not too bad, as Spencer drove me home so I had to dump them and run really. It was lovely seeing mum, and I think I can make the next couple of months now!

I spent the holiday weekend in Vienna visiting Sia, so there'll be a post soon about that! And last night, I went for drinks with Joe and the gang, as Joe will be knocking around el Berlino for a couple of weeks. Yay!


Bis bald
xxx

Berlin: 10 Little Things

I've been here just over a month, so what I have noticed about Berlin so far?

1) Sparkling water

When I first arrived, I was horrified by it's popularity, and accidentally bought it more than once. On my first day of work, my boss brought me a glass and I kinda just had to suck it up. Since then it's not too bad, I still prefer still water, but my face doesn't contort as much. 

2) U-Bahn 

The U-Bahn is so much cleaner and friendlier than the Paris metro, and I haven't smelt human waste yet. Touch wood. There are beggars and buskers, yes, but not hundreds, and most of the ones I've seen have been quite delightful (the buskers, that is). If Paris was about looking out of the metro at the Eiffel Tower while a bloke played the accordion, then Berlin is about looking at graffiti while a man plays a guitar. The Berliners also seem to understand train etiquette- they always stand aside to let people off the train before piling on. It's a miracle! Saying that, they seem to have no concept of standing on the right hand side on escalators. I still do though, and hope to God I don't pick up the habit of not, otherwise I might just be lynched in England.

No Navigo-style pass here, just a paper ticket!

3) Jaywalking

You're really not supposed to cross on a red man, but I forgot this a few times at the beginning. It's a bit painful sometimes, but if you leg it, you're more than likely going to get very disapproving looks and mutters. Cars will show no mercy. I feel I am obliged to mention the Ampelmann here, as he is very famous and even has his own shop on Unter den Linden (you can even buy Ampelman soaps...)

4) Bikes

GET A BELL. The amount of times I have nearly been knocked over by a cyclist, who then swears at me. Oh, well, I do apologise for not having eyes in the back of my head.

5) Bakeries

The bakeries are out of this world. I recently discovered the Nougat Croissant which was gorgeous. Cherry filled Pfannkuchen, Rosinenschnecke, Brezel, a ridiculous array of doughnuts, and Quark filled pastries...whatever that is. I have cheese and bell pepper bread sometimes for lunch and most mornings I find myself in the bakery for a coffee and something tasty. This is a habit I should probably kick.

Also, in Berlin Pfannkuchen means doughnut (the filled ones, ring ones are just Donuts). Everywhere else it means pancake. I know right.

6) Berlinerisch

Before I got here, I looked up the Berlin dialect and panicked a bit, as it looked utterly incomprehensible. It turns out that I probably don't hang around with proper Berliners, as I haven't heard that much of it and the accent is usually clear, if a little harsh sometimes. People say 'icK' more than 'iCH' which upsets me a bit. I have noticed though, that Tschüssi is very common as a goodbye and I've also heard 'was' pronounced as 'wat'. 'Kiez' means like, district or borough e.g. Kreuzberg is a Kiez. Then there's the nicknames- Kottbusser Tor is known as Kotti, Görlitzer Bahnhof as Görly, Ku'damm is Kurfurstendamm and Alexanderplatz is just Alex. I hope Jean teaches me more!

Edit: I've since learnt that 'Kiez' is a lot smaller than a neighbourhood. People use it to describe the streets where they live, do their food shopping, drink etc. In that sense, it's more of a community thing.

7) The Cinema

I've been to the cinema twice now and I love it, mainly because they do sell salty popcorn, you can drink a beer during the film and the particular cinema I like doesn't show dubbed films, rather the originals with subtitles. I find dubbing really hard to get on with- most of the time, the speech is too fast, monotonous and I find myself watching the actor's mouths trying to work out what they are actually saying or is that just me? It's 9 euros even with a student discount, which is cheaper than Paris, but I really miss The Savoy in Nottingham! 

8) Recycling
They LOVE it. They really do. You think it's stressful having a green box and a black bin? Pah. It was one of the first things my flatmate explained to me, and when I accidentally forgot and put a milk carton in the bin, she literally got it right out again and put it in the correct bag. Now I know.

9) Smoking
I nearly fell over when I first bought 38g of Pall Mall. It cost 5 euros! Insane. You can also buy cigarettes from little machines in the supermarket by the conveyor belts, I'm yet to try. There are quite a lot of bars where smoking is allowed inside, which I find a little gross, and by the time you get outside you've forgotten what oxygen feels like. Though, when they are separate smoking lounges in a bar it reminds me of like, 1995 and pub lunches with the fam. A lot of people smoke in the U-Bahn stations as well and flick the butts onto the tracks, which sets my nerves off!

10) Gesundheit
Okay, so I have sneezed about 1000 times in the office and neither my boss or Marit have EVER said Gesundheit to me. I was bristling at this rudeness, until I asked the other day about it and they said that Germans don't really say it....really? OK. I don't say it to them now either. Small talk doesn't really work here either- I said to my boss 'Oh it's a really nice day isn't it!' and he just looked at me a bit quizzically before saying 'Ja...stimmt'.

I'll leave it here, with this advert which is a real Ohrwurm (song that gets stuck in your head)

tschüssi!
xx