On being a tourist (guide)

Hi! It feels like ages since I last properly blogged. Since then, I've spent hours in muesums, given up on Jean, signed up for German evening classes, danced all night to Madonna, toured my mum and her partner around most things of historical relevance, had an accident and have pretty much finished planning my August adventure. 

So a couple of weekends ago, it was der Lange Nacht der Museen, where museums are open until the early hours. My mum's initial reaction when I told her about it was "What's so special about that?" Oh mother! You are right about 99% of things, but not this. What could be better than sitting on the steps of a museum filled with ancient Greek treasures, cup of tea in hand, at 12.45 am? Who needs alcohol when you've got a two day museum pass? Not me mate.

'Telephos goes to Argos' This amused me greatly.





the stuff of nightmares

who put the glad in gladiator? HERC-U-LEEES

Biggest dinosaur skeleton in the world, or sumfink

There was a room filled with sealife in jars.

Dunno what my legs are doing, but CURRYWURST

There was even an interactive takeaway van thing. This is Sophie serving you chips.

It was genuinely great, and Sophie and I clocked up 7 museums in what, 12 hours? The Pergamon (architecture), Neues (where Nefertiti's famous bust is), Altes (Ancient Greeks), Bodes (not entirely sure of the central theme, but a fair amount of Jesus), Naturkunde (nature, and the obligatory dinosaur skeletons), the Currywurst Museum (!!!!) and the Museum at Checkpoint Charlie, which was really moving. We got quite into it, and each bought a postcard of our favourite exhibit from each one.

Next item on the list - the German Tandem Partner Situation. I genuinely do not understand what happened there. I am not gonna make you read reems of my hypotheses. Lionel is still around though, and to combat the lack of Jean, I signed up for an 4 week evening class course. I just figured I needed something. It was also born out of a moment of mild panic when I realised that I have 2 months left and my German is not as good as I want it to be! Yesterday I tried out a class, and I loved it. Due to time issues, I can't go to B2 classes because of work, so have to make do with B1-B2. It's fine so far and is quite nice to feel like a freaking boss but I might go to a C1 class just to see if that is challenging enough not to be painful, if not, I don't mind too much staying in this class I'm just worried I will get too comfortable and complacent ...



Saturday  before last was Madonna night. Hilary, Guy, Hilary's flatmate Daniel and I headed out to a Club in Neukölln (yes!) at like 1am and sweatily danced the night away to Madonna, Kylie, Britney ,etc. It was awesome. Mainly because of the fact there was music with lyrics, shock horror. And a lot of oiled, but sadly homosexual, torsos jumping around.


The next day my mother arrived! I was so excited to see her, and it was so cute to see her little face bobbing in the crowd. We went out for dinner that night at Italo, which was lovely because my mum loves Italian food and was in her element. The following day, my historical tour began. Starting with *deep breath* Potsdamer Platz, Brandenburger Tor, tour of the Reichstag, Soviet War Memorial in the Tiergarten, the memorial for the 1953 uprising at the Federal Ministry of Finance, Topography of Terror and a brief glance at the former Gestapo HQ, Checkpoint Charlie, Bebelsplatz (where the Nazis famously burnt the books), St. Hedwig's Cathedral, Berliner Cathedral, coffee in the Nikolai quarter, East Side Gallery and the Oberbaumbrücke and then finally DINNER.

Gross of me, but mum looks cute

It was just a prelude, because when you burn books, in the end you burn people too.

The Nikolai Quarter is so pretty

Mum bought me a new friend. Meet Sigmund.

'I remember'

East Side Gallery

Bit minging, but one of my favourite places in Berlin

Tuesday started off badly, that's for sure, as I somehow managed to slip and get my left leg stuck in the gap between the train and the platform. It felt like I was there forever but Mum has since assured me it was not even a minute before she pulled me up. After crying hysterically from the shock of it, we located a pharmacy and I patched up before I gallantly hobbled onwards to continue their tour. The leg is still bruised and still hurts. Sigh.


First off, I took them to J.F Kennedy Platz, then onto Ku'damm and the church, followed by the Siegesäule. We all paid to go in and the information was interesting but there was no way I could climb 285 spiral steps with my poor limb, so Mum and I didn't climb it in the end. Next stop was Bernauerstraße and the Wall Memorial. I visited this with Lewis in 2012, but I had no idea just how extensive the memorial was; the whole street was demolished to make way for the wall and so has been preserved almost in it's entirety. You can see the foundations of a church that once stood in between. You can see foundations of houses that were ripped down because people were using the windows that looked out onto the west side to escape. There was even video footage of a man shimmying down a sheet rope from a window. Lastly, they preserved part of the Death Strip. You climb a big viewing platform to see it properly and it's just, awful. Awful to think that it was only 24 years ago that it came down. The East Side Gallery is interesting, but I think Bernauerstraße really makes you realise just what this wall was, even though I will never get my head around it. It's a really tasteful memorial too, and I was pleased to see people were being respectful.

Do I really need to caption this?

After that, we rushed over to the Stasi Museum. By now it was absolutely chucking it down, so the weather was quite conducive to the tone of the day! We only had an hour there, so I showed them the most important bits. My mum has always been interested in spy stuff, so she was simultaneously fascinated and horrified.


We then went for dinner, opting for a place at Alexanderplatz. It was initially really good, until after we had eaten no one asked us if we wanted more drinks and we waited half an hour for the bill ...
After we all had a bit of a strop, we bought some biscuits and wine and hung out at their hotel until gone midnight.

hab' dich Lieb, mama

After dropping their stuff off at mine the next morning, I gave mum her birthday card and little present and there were some little tears too. Then, as an extra special birthday present, we went to see the site of Hitler's Bunker. It was chilling, and not just because it was pissing down. Saying goodbye at the Airport was not too bad, as Spencer drove me home so I had to dump them and run really. It was lovely seeing mum, and I think I can make the next couple of months now!

I spent the holiday weekend in Vienna visiting Sia, so there'll be a post soon about that! And last night, I went for drinks with Joe and the gang, as Joe will be knocking around el Berlino for a couple of weeks. Yay!


Bis bald
xxx

Can we go to Kreuzberg now?

Hallo!

The last couple of weeks have been pretty good, despite a horrible cold/chest infection rearing it's ugly phlegmy head on Saturday night. Work has been varied, they said my changes to a translation really improved it (woop) and I can feel my German improving slightly. I write emails in German and ask Marit to check them and twice now she's said all my endings were correct. IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I also finally posted my letters/cards today, my sincere apologies to those of you who have now had your birthdays and babies.

So the weekend before last, Joe came up for the weekend and we started out in a strange bar down my street. It was all very odd (but mainly just boiling) so we jacked it in and had a Burger King.

Joe was raring to go to Kreuzberg so that was, obviously, the first thing we did on Saturday, followed by what was possibly the most incredible Currywurst I have ever had the pleasure of digesting just off Ku'damm.

oh ja

We did get to see a Berlinale film- it was called Macondo and was about Chechynan refugees living in Austria. It was really good...until I fell asleep and missed the last 15 minutes. Are you surprised though? Saturday night consisted of bar hopping in Kreuzberg (you literally can't tear the boy away), starting at Madame Claude's where nearly everything was upside down and glued to the ceiling. That was followed by a slightly more normal cocktail bar, where I happily discovered Wassermelon Man. You can't taste the alcohol-it just tastes like Haribo. The third and final bar (too much rum had been consumed) was a bar called Misfits, which suited me down to the ground, but soon after that we headed back and all I remember is stubbing my cigarette out on my thumb so we could get in the taxi.

Sunday morning was me whinging for quite a while, before we went to the East Side Gallery and I properly tried falafel for the first time. Sweet Lord, it was delightful. 

You've learnt what freedom means, never forget it

I particularly enjoy Joe's foreboding shadow in this

Most of the day was wandering around really, though we did experience Europe's fastest lift. It was like 20 seconds to get to the 24th floor or something - mental, and my ears killed. The view was worth it though!

Chirpy

That weekend was pretty good when it comes to new foods and new bars. On Sunday night, we went for Vietnamese with one of Joe's friends who is also in Berlin and it was insanely good! We went to a lesbian bar on Weserstrasse, which was very strangely decorated - think Grandma's house crossed with a huge picture of a woman with too much pubic hair and a sign that said 'I love my vagina'. That was followed by another bar, where everyone was gathered around the the tv watching Tatort (a popular crime show here). There, Chelsea got us to try the house shot and I swear I thought my chest was going to burst into flames and Saint George would smite me down with his sword as I exhaled gusts of fire through my flaring nostrils. All exaggerations aside, it was bloody rank. An experience, but rank. So then it was bye bye Joe and back to work on Monday.

Last weekend, I met up with my French tandem partner, a nice fellow called Lionel. We had a crepe in Kreuzberg (well, Kotti, for those of you who understand the hip Berlin lingo) and a little walking tour of the canal. It was really nice to meet someone so random and I found it very enjoyable to listen to him struggling to say 'clothes' and 'studying', which was more like 'stood-ay-ing'. To be fair, I embarrassed everyone with my shitty French so I gotta give him credit.

After that, I went to find the Rollberg Kino in Neukoelln. I wasn't entirely sure and it was a bit dark, so I popped into a Lotto and asked the way. Was great, until I said 'oh right, so next left' while madly gesturing to the right.... Got there eventually though, got my ticket to The Wolf of Wall Street, salty popcorn and a beer. The film began with slaves standing in a sugar cane field. I then recognised Chiwetel Ejifor and realised I was in the wrong film. And so I accidentally saw 12 years a slave, and it was actually amazing.

I've got tomorrow and Friday off, which is going to be very nice indeed. I plan on sleeping a fair bit tomorrow to try and fend off the rest of my illness and then hopefully meet a German tandem partner in the evening. Then, Friday, I'm off to Poland for the day. As ya do.

Bis bald xx