Hallo Hannover!

On Saturday, I took my first trip outside of Berlin since I arrived in August. It was definitely long overdue. I'd found out about a museum in Hanover with an Egyptian collection and since I have now seen the exhibits at Neues Museum 4 times, I desperately wanted to go. I was all set to go on my own when Julia asked if she could come with me! So it came to be.

Julia was running late thanks to the S Bahn being temperamental at the moment, and instead of panicking and getting irate, I just changed our tickets for the bus at 9 am instead. I was quite pleased with myself, and we had a leisurely coffee and croissant before starting the journey.

Bright and early (ish)

We had a real Berliner for a bus driver and Julia had to translate for me.. which was a bit embarrassing because we were right at the front of the bus! I've since been practising, and my favourite thing is now 'janz jenau'.

We went straight to the Museum, taking a few photos on the way of the beautiful old buildings.

The Town Hall

 The Egyptian bit was super interesting, albeit a bit smaller than I had expected.  August Kestner was a private collector who left his collection for public enjoyment when he died, so there was a fascinating mix of exhibits from different cultures too. Happily, Julia was also interested in the Ancient Egyptian part, but while I was pressing my face up against the glass like a kid at Christmas, she sat in a chair reading the information.

The colours have survived!

Typical style of the Armana period (Akhenaton is one of my faves to read about)

I tried. 

After I'd satiated my thirst, Julia wanted to see the Medieval part, which had some insanely beautiful tapestries and books. We attempted to write with feather quills and Julia finally explained to me why babies in medieval paintings are so frightening. Apparently, children weren't seen as we see them now, instead they were seen as miniature adults and were thus painted accordingly. Explains why they always look so intense and freaky.

This is a book!

Then we went to have lunch at the market hall, followed by a visit to the Bahlsen factory outlet where I could have easily emptied my bank account on Lindt chocolates and various assortments of Lebkuchen.

We found a bookshop, which was great until I had an anxiety attack. I think it was brought on by the fact that I am so used to taking daytrips on my own that I really couldn't cope with someone else being there. Basically I was out of control and hated it! Julia was very nice about it though and did her best to calm me down.

However, I did buy All Quiet on the Western Front in German. I have been meaning to read it for ages, so thought it would be good to read it in the original! I started it on the bus home and had to keep stopping, honestly, because it was so sad. I have read a lot of World War One books about English soldiers and to read the same experiences and feelings coming from a German, and even in German, was really something.

We took a meander around the old town which was like something out of a fairytale. We popped into the big church in the middle of the square. I didn't light a candle this time because there was a service going on, so I just gave my money and took it with me. Mum will find a place for it on her windowsill, I am sure. We fangirled over some old books (6 for 95 euros) and then walked through the newer part towards the train station where we sat in Balzac coffee overlooking the square.

Only in Germany!

It's the first time in a good few years that I have visited a West German city properly, and after so much time spent in Berlin, it really felt different. Everything was so BIG, so pedestrianised, so clean.

The bus back to Berlin was nearly half an hour late but it was a fun day though and hopefully we can go somewhere else together soon. Forgot to buy Mum a magnet though... oops.

Salad invasion and too much crawling

I'm really running out of creative ways to say hello. Do I even need to say hello every time?

Anyway, hi! So now I am 23 and feel no different whatsoever, obviously. My birthday last Monday was spent feeling a bit sorry for myself. Mainly because there was nothing to do at work so I had too much time to dwell on the fact that I was without my family and bored. I bought myself a bottle of wine and some chocolates, and some new clothes because hey why not? I had a nice phone call with mum and Reo called too! They both made me feel tons better. I also got a lovely letter from my niece, which made me cry!

One of the most adorable things I have ever received

In any case though my birthday was pretty uneventful. But Lewis is coming to see me on Friday (eek, not long now) so I guess we shall make up for it then!

On Wednesday I saw my German tandem partner again (okay his name is Tom). We had coffee and another long walk around the city, which included almost getting lost in the Jewish Memorial and me almost having a panic attack because I started thinking about crawling (wow) and me being his tour guide and telling him a ludicrous amount of information about the 1953 Worker's Uprising in the GDR.... I can't help it, I basically only studied the GDR last year! He seemed to appreciate it though.

J and I went to the cinema on Thursday night to see Crimson Peak, and happily for me in the original English! No terrifying German dubbing that night.  The visuals were absolutely stunning and there was a lot of brutal violence (there was a scene when someone got their head literally bashed in on a sink and I swear to God I have never felt more horrified in my life), which is just typical from del Toro. There was also the added bonus that Bobby from Supernatural was in it! That said, the plot was really lacking and it just wasn't a great storyline. It wasn't all that scary either BUT there was a disgusting crawling bit, which you can watch it below, if you desire. My hands will remain firmly over my face.

In other news, I ate steak pie on Friday evening! Tom and I went to this restaurant called East London (I know right! They didn't have pie n mash though so I will be complaining to the management). I was so excited to get my pie fill,  but it was basically just beef stew with a pastry lid. A very nice stew, mind, but still. Also, there was salad on the side. Germans eat salad with EVERYTHING, I swear.

We then walked from Kreuzberg to Friedrichshain, which ended up taking a lot longer than it should have, because the pair of us got confused and Google Maps was not being very cooperative!

When it started to rain quite violently, we ended up going to mine because I think neither of us really wanted the evening to end (wow sorry I appear to have swallowed a rom com) and we watched a hilarious German sketch show. One thing led to another and suddenly we are more than tandem partners. I'm quite happy with this though, it all feels natural, or as Lewis would say 'organic'.

We had breakfast the next day at a caff not far from me. It was so tasty but SALAD! Again! With breakfast! What are you doing Germany?

Excellent, but SALAD

We ended up spending the whole weekend together but  I feel weird writing so much personal stuff on here, so I'm leaving it there, sorry all you nosy people.

On Tuesday last week, Lionel and I met at Italo and it was so lovely! We had the nicest catch-up and ate pasta, drank wine and feasted on a dessert platter for two. It was so great to see a familiar face! We didn't speak French though, oops, but we decided we would do that next time. I was secretly pleased, as I dread to think what my French sounds like at the moment and at least now I have time to practice.

Nothing much of note happened last week, not that I can remember anyway.... J and I went to Hanover yesterday, but that will be a separate blog post as usual.

For now I am just enjoying Sunday. I've done my washing, had some scrambled eggs and some attempt at bacon, and am going to settle down with coffee, biscuits and a book. (After I've finished all this blogging stuff, naturally).

Laters xxxx

"What are pubes? Like children?"

Hello!

It's been a busy couple of weeks here in el Berlino. Work has been busy and interesting. I've been doing a lot of SEO stuff, and had a puzzling time attempting to explain the basics of keyword research in German, to a Romanian. I also read an interesting CV the other day, in which the man had written his date of birth and in brackets next to it 'under Nixon's presidency'. That's really interesting and everything but how is that relevant? Am I missing something? Who cares that I was born when John Major was in charge?

 I can't believe how fast time is going. It's my birthday tomorrow though I must say I'm not that excited. I'm turning 23 and honestly, what is there really to celebrate? It's a bit of a non-age, and I still feel like I'm 19 at heart. Physically more like 80, but there you go.

Anyway.

The Saturday before last was Tag der deutschen Einheit, so I went and checked out the festivities at the Brandenburg Gate, and also went to the Deutsches Historisches Museum. It was free thanks to the festivities.

"What things do you associate with the East?" Just thought this person's drawing was great.

I went out with S and her flatmate Esmeralda that night. We went to Matrix on Warschauer Strasse. It was pretty good, mainly because I spent most of the night observing people. There were 3 types of dancers there that night - the ones bopping their heads and taking leisurely swigs from their beer (aka, me), the tourists trying to dance in the cage and deciding that they never want to go home, and the people waving their arms madly like coked-up Mr Tickles.

 I had the worst hangover ever, a headache ALL day, throwing up, could barely eat and just sat sweaty and oozing toxins in bed all day watching Supernatural.... I'd only had 4 beers!!!! What a sick joke this old age thing is. Gone are the days when I could do 15 shots of vodka in a row. (That is not an exaggeration. I wish it was)

I met a new tandem partner on Wednesday, because let's face it, Stephan creeps me out, and my the other one was a bust. It was successful and we spoke for like 4 hours straight without realising! Turns out he is a massive bookworm like me, and so we decided to meet at Dussman's at Friedrichstrasse on Friday. It is an absolutely enormous book shop and we were in there until 10pm, talking about books and poring through the shelves. He can speak brilliant English for someone who is self-taught, but I had to explain to him what pubes were... he thought they were something to do with children?! (Like pupils, he said hahaha). We then went for coffee at a Viennese coffee house (suddenly I really want to go back to Cafe Demel!) and ended up walking around Berlin until, like, 3am. I've honestly not had such a good time with someone in a long time. We have so much in common! He insisted on walking me home, which I was absolutely astonished by. I mean, I am so used to doing everything alone and taking care of myself that I was flummoxed by such a suggestion. But it was very nice of him, albeit a bit silly because it was out of his way and he was waiting for a train home at 4.30 am! However, I do believe I made a good friend.

Surprise underneath my cup "Life is fast enough" 

Berliner Dom and the Festival of Lights

Lionel also got in touch, and as I expected and fervently hoped, he suggested Italo for dinner in a couple of weeks. Really looking forward to catching up with him and dusting off my French hat. Kat and Spencer sent me a thank you card from their wedding and told me they would be back in April so I'm looking forward to having a beer with them too!

I went to the cinema with S and J on Tuesday after work. We saw 'Inside Out' and I have to say it was absolutely brilliant. Addressing mental health in such a way that children can understand is commendable and I was honestly so touched by it.  All three of us cried at the end. It was also hilarious at times though!

This destroyed me. Still weeping.

J and I met today for a coffee at Potsdamer Platz, and then walked to the Hauptbahnhof. The autumn weather really is here. The air is so crisp and fresh, and there's that dead-leaf smell everywhere.

Aside from all that, I have also spent a lot of time wondering what I should do with my life. Go back to England and do a Masters in Translation? Stay here in Berlin and either stay at this job or find another one? Distance Certificate in Egyptology? Masters here in Germany in Marketing? I DON'T KNOW. I thought I had this post-Graduation life sorted, but apparently I too have been swallowed up into the graduate void.

Who knows?

Until next time my friends
xxxx

Fleamarkets, boyworld and why I got a burnt package in the post

.

Hallöchen!

Probably about time I posted again, I reckon. The last few weeks have seen their fair share of strange happenings, but would you expect any less?

Okay, so 3 Saturdays ago, I finally got around to meeting with Stephan at the cafe (otherwise known as the potential murderer). To start with, I was 15 minutes late . Not such a great start. The meeting itself was fine, apart from being attacked by wasps and the fact that he basically just spoke English and I was like, dude, we're supposed to be tandem-ing? Anyway.

So I'll get the boy gossip out of the way now. Well I was also late to meet him a few Tuesdays ago, because I was too busy sitting in a Vietnamese restaurant with S. He text me to say he was on his way and I was like, cool bro, just let me swallow this plate whole and I'll be there in 5. We went to the cinema last weekend, you remember I saw Fack ju Goethe with Sophie and crew? Probably not, but I saw the second one and it was brilliant) .

Apart from that and living in a strange, temporarily insane bubble, I have finally got a housephone (however I cannot get it to work). That was an ordeal in itself. I queued for like 10 minutes for the till lady to inform me that I was trying to buy an empty box. I came home to my long-awaited Skype headset (because my laptop is ridiculous and needs a microphone to skype) to find they were in a noticeably smoke-damaged packet. There was a letter apologising for the delay, but the warehouse caught fire. They even included a picture of the warehouse on fire. Okay, I believe you! If that wasn't enough for one Saturday, there was a fault with the water drainage in the washing machine. It costs 3 euros for every wash so I was forced to remove my still sticky clothes from a murky puddle of water, rinse them in my sink and watch ruefully as threateningly large puddles formed on my balcony.

This is the basement where washing comes to die

This is a man sitting on a dining chair, on the S-Bahn. Standard Monday eve commute.

I've also finally bought a duvet, and have very much enjoyed having a real bed again! That and the fact I have also signed up for Netflix (I am so late on the bandwagon it's embarrassing) and consequently have resumed my binging of Supernatural.

Fafel and halloumi sandwich + Sam and Dean = my kind of Saturday evening (I am such a loser)

Work wise, it was just me and J last week as S was ill. It was a little bit stressful at first, because J had a lot of German proofreading to do and so I had to pick up all the admin slack. But it was all fine, and by the end of the week I also had a few translations to do.Also, since I've been here, I've only had three serious anxiety attacks, which considering I have been here over a month, is damn good going. It just sucks a bit when they've happened at work. The girls are so kind about it though and check to make sure I've not actually climbed under the desk and tried to burrow to the centre of the earth,

This weekend I spent with myself which was actually quite nice! On Saturday, I just went for a walk around Friedrichshain, and wound up in that brilliant bookshop again and spent 3 euros on FIVE BOOKS. 3 EUROS ON FIVE BOOKS. Somebody stop me. I went to a flea market on Sunday and decided I desperately missed Niamh! I didn't buy anything, but I did thoroughly enjoy watching the hipsters squabbling over vintage polaroid cameras and gilets that had seen better days.

Carina is away in Hamburg from Tuesdays to Thursdays at the moment so I have the flat to myself tonight. I grilled some chicken (she's a vegetarian), played Kylie Minogue very loudly and went to the toilet with the door open. Not at the same time, mind.

This honestly was so much more delicious than it looks!

But she is so sweet. Last night, I came home to a note on my door telling me I could help myself to the rest of her noodles and home made sauce. A couple of Sundays ago, we went to Neue Heimat which is now closed forever! It's a food market off Warschauer Strasse, where you can eat Mexican street food and listen to techno at midday in a warehouse that's basically falling down.

Lastly, I received confirmation today that Lewis is coming to see me on the 30th October! So excited! Mum is coming on the 11th December AND I also just booked my flight home for Christmas! I've got a comfortable 10 days off, and will be inhaling the air of Stansted airport at 22.00 on the 18th December.

For now, I have a glass of wine and an episode of Supernatural to finish.

Laters xxx

Little victories

So I just found this in my drafts and apparently I never actually had the confidence to post it! So I am posting it now, over a year later. Better late than never eh!

It's actually fairly apt, as the last few days have been difficult. I think it is mainly just a delayed reaction to moving abroad again, but I spent most of Tuesday not very well. My vision was totally messed up and I couldn't concentrate or focus, my stomach hurt and I had heartburn and I had constant tears all day. An absolute mess! J was ever so lovely and kind though and kept making sure I was drinking plenty of water.

Back to the original post:


So this is a little bit of a different post this time!

People that are close to me will know that I've lived with anxiety for a long time. Less of you will know that that this month (July 2014) I can happily say I have been self-harm free for 4 years. I keep retweeting all these Time to Change things, yet I feel I've never really been that open myself. I made a pledge to stop the stigma, so now it's time I keep it. (You can make your pledge here). For now, I am sharing with you that although anxiety is something I have to live with, I am coping and I'm probably the healthiest now than I've been in a long time!

So, here are the the victories during the Year Abroad that have kept me going.

• being spontaneous and deciding to go to Munich
• being direct and making the first moves with friendships
• coping quickly with what could have become a full blown panic attack in Vienna
• not always being intimidated or anxious about making dinner in the communal kitchen in Paris
• learning to control my temper (because I am dealing with anxiety better, I am dealing with anger better too)
• being able to get dressed nearly every morning without becoming hysterical
• that time where I stayed out and missed the RER home and didn't panic (this was obviously after the time on my birthday where I, well, panicked)
• Although I barely slept the night before, I managed a presentation in French and didn't panic
• I survived for 3 and a bit months without seeing my mum, which I think has really, really toughened me up, and on dark days reminds me I can manage
• going online and putting myself out there to meet Tandem Partners
• dealing with triggering thoughts and feelings, and not giving in
• filling out CBT forms on a regular basis, so now I can do them in my head when a situation comes up
• going to Poland for the day, proving to myself that my anxiety won't stop me living´
• Dealing with the whole tooth issue without having a breakdown
• actually posting this post without editing it a hundred times and worrying what everyone will think

Though maybe trivial to some people, I'm proud of these little things. It all counts towards being more positive and able to cope!


There'll be a proper update soon.

Tschau xxxx

A month in: friends, falafel and finally online

Hello!

Since I have now been here a month today, and since I now have functioning internet at my flat, I thought it was time for another update.

Where to begin?

So Carina has now been here since last week and is indeed as lovely as I thought. We drunk a bottle of wine together last Friday night and got to know each other better, which was nice. She also asked if we could speak English at home so she can practice, which is actually quite nice because obviously I only speak German at the office and to my work colleagues so it's definitely relaxing to come home and speak English, especially after a particularly stressful day! She also brought a hoover with her (a fantastic Dyson nonetheless) so that is also a bonus!

The weekend before last (so the Saturday after I missed the internet bloke), I took myself off to the Neues Museum to see an Ancient Egyptian exhibit and promptly spent the entire day crooning around the rest of the Egyptian exhibits. It turned out to be the Lange Nacht der Museen which made me suddenly miss Sophie as we did that together last year!  I spent a good hour in the shop umming and ahhing over books. Needless to say, I eventually bought one and have considerably intensified my already swotty knowledge about the Pharaohs.

Creepiest comb ever?

"Exhibit being prepared". The pig was a fantastic touch.
Disproving the 'Germans aren't funny' theory one day a time.

This isn't Ancient Egyptian, but is still awesome, because it is a hat. A giant golden hat.

Moving on. Work has been hovering between so stressful I have almost cried and so slow that I've wanted to sleep on the desk. That said, it's going well and my confidence in German is increasing. Best part is, I have finally overcome my fear of speaking to clients on the phone! Though I have also had my fair share of client nightmares in the last week. I'll say this and this only: Google Translate.

The girls and I have been out for tea after work a couple of times which is nice and I am currently nursing a horrendous falafel food baby.

"Chicken Food" Are you sure that's what you mean?

S (one of the girls) and I went to a salsa night on Saturday, which was really surreal but fun. I also hit it off with one of her (German) friends. We went out Tuesday night and hopefully again on Saturday night, so we'll see.

Also, fairly sure that the German guy who lives downstairs is not a murderer. Haven't met up for a tandem talk with him yet, but he did message me yesterday so I should probably answer before he does indeed turn into a murderer. OKAY SO SECONDS AFTER I WROTE THAT he rang the bell. Now I feel bad. Going for coffee Saturday lunchtime. Also I am still alive, so I am going with 'not a murderer'.

And a final piece of news about my apparently flourishing social life: Lionel the French tandem partner! He answered my email about meeting up again so hopefully I will see him soon and go back to Italo and eat lots of cake like we used to.

For now I think I am going to catch up on Popstars! because there is nothing like German trash tv after a long day.

Laters xxxx

Internet Cafe Life

Hello!

I can't believe that my first week at work has gone so quickly! Although incredibly surreal, it's really great to be back. I really do feel privileged that not only do I live in the city I love, but that I also love my job.

This is the actual life! Apart from the horsefly bite, of course.

Pettenkofer Straße

Anyway. I am still waiting on the internet to be set up (next Friday!) and I am sat in an internet cafe writing this! Apparently that's how much of a loser I am.

But you'll be pleased to hear that the two other girls at the office are lovely, and last night we went out for dinner after work together. They are funny and helpful, and seem to find my English habits highly amusing. S already knows there is no point asking what tea I want, because the answer is always black, mit Milch. There's already been hilarity r.e. jobs, but I think it wouldn't be funny for anyone else and it would take too long to explain so I won't bore you.

Weirdly, the conversation at dinner turned to, well, mental health. Which I was a bit unnverved by, but it wasn't awkward at all. J saw my tattoo on my wrist, and S asked me if it was to do with self-harm. It was actually so refreshing to be able to say yes and not feel in any way judged by my past!

As for the flat, I am still on my jack there but only until next Sunday! On Monday, I got in from work, went to unlock my bedroom and got the absolute fright of my life when the other bedroom opened next to me. Her name is Carina, she's from Lower  Bavaria and seems very sweet. Also, she brought tonnes of stuff with her so my need to buy stuff for the kitchen has drastically lowered. She doesn't start work until September so only came to unpack.

ALSO, a bloke knocked on the door on Tuesday night looking for Carina (already? bit creepy). She obviously wasn't here and he started talking to me. Somehow, I agreed to be tandem partners with him and he went away. Then he came back five minutes later with his phone number. Okay. So he is either just very friendly and desperate to practice English, or he is a murderer. It remains to be seen.

Looking forward to actually hanging out with these people! 

Bis später

xoxo

Allet jute aus Berlin

Four days in and everything is looking good so far. Apart from the fact that the apartment was like, bare. Sure it's furnished, but I've had to spend the last couple of days kitting it out. A kettle was obviously the first priority. It really is lovely though, and I love my balcony. Note to self: buy a plant of some sort!

View from my balcony

I registered on Tuesday and my goodness what a kerfuffle. I ended up going to the Ordnungsamt instead of the Bürgeramt. So instead of trying to register myself I was in fact attempting to register a trade. Make your jokes now.

I managed to order my internet but now it's a case of waiting for the installation, which sod's law guarantees will be when I start work.

In other news, I have been watching a lot of TV (to practice, I tell myself but really it's because it's too hot and I'm lazy). Current favourites are: a programme about family problems. The last one I watched was about a man whose family were worrying about his health because he took part in schnitzel-eating competitions. The other fave is Adam sucht Eva. Basically it's a bit like our Love Island except everyone is butt naked. It's strangely fascinating.

My new favourite thing in the entire world

I'm sitting in Köllnischer Park feeling rather disappointed, as I came here to see the Berlin Bears but they aren't out. There's only one left and last I heard it was possible that it might be put down. Poor dear. 

Bears?

I'm enjoying time to wander around and soak up some sun before work on Monday!

Bis später x

I have arrived... well only at the airport

Hallo Leute,

So in true Kirsty fashion I got my arrival time in Berlin wrong and so am running over an hour early for my key pickup. I spoke to the caretaker and we agreed I would wait at the airport until he calls me back... So here I am, all excited to see my new flat and I am perched on a bench outside Schoenefeld clutching at my hideously large bags. I'm blogging from email and attached a picture from this morning but god knows if it worked...

Aside from all that, the flight was fine. I did end up sitting in seat A when I should have been in seat C and consequently was on edge for most of the time. Maybe when the German teacher in Mean Girls yelled "Stay in your assigned seat" I took it too personally...

Here's hoping I leave the airport soon!

Ciao xo

Return of the Worrywart

Greetings! It's been a disgraceful amount of time since I updated this blog but quite frankly I didn't have much to write about really. Well, I went away for a week in Cornwall but that's not abroad so  I didn't think it should count... would the Cornish disagree? Anyway, fortunately that has all changed!

I'd begun to worry about what I was going to do after graduation, and after a few job applications it was looking like I was going to be hanging around Chelmsford for a while before doing a Masters next September. I'd been in contact with the company I worked for in Berlin during the Year Abroad but it wasn't looking like there would be any room for me.

The obligatory photo

Happily I was wrong and I am going back to work for them for a year! I've managed to find somewhere to live which is a relief, as obviously I was beginning to worry about that as well. It's a room in a shared flat, but not the same as last time, i.e. it's not someone's home and so I am not as concerned that I will be walking into a nest of criminals.

The only thing left to do now is the usual running around to see people before I leave and the dreaded packing...although this time I am taking two suitcases.

Time to make some lists!

Back soon x