CVs or why does Comic Sans even exist?

This might not be incredibly relevant to my blog, but I guess it could come under 'what my YA internship taught me'.

I just want to say that it is not until you are on the receiving end of CVs that you realise just how important everything you ever learnt about work experience is.

I've received so many applications, and sent emails to, people who sound excellent. I excitedly open the attachments to find that they have written in Comic Sans, in red font, used a coloured background, made numerous spelling mistakes, have used a template from the Stone Ages or haven't used a template at all and have just written in paragraphs and have used a picture of themselves holding their cat/guinea pig/dressed as a clown.

Where is the professionalism?

You could have excellent qualifications but if your CV isn't excellent too, you're going to have a bad time. Obviously, right?

I don't want to be preachy and patronising and all like, I work behind a desk so I'm well important, I just thought this was a valid point and something I will definitely be bearing in my mind when I update my CV again.

I'm aware that most people I know would not even dream of doing these things, and I'm fairly sure most people would rather go on a date with Hannibal Lecter than use Word Art on their CV.

Ok, see ya x

Berlining (verb)- a type of chilling specific to Berlin

I feel like it's coming together here. Even Lewis said I looked happy and settled, and I reckon that is pretty true. Work has been going well- a copyediting job I worked on was approved by a new client, I've learnt about SEO marketing (I know, what the hell) and I'm writing emails that make sense. As for a social life, Jean and I went to a bar called Das Gift (The Poison) down the road from me for a few drinks last week, which was fun. Jean and I have decided that we will go to a different bar every wednesday night, which will be so good- not just for language, but for my knowledge of Berlin. I also discovered they do a beef and ale pie- it's owned by Scottish people- which nearly brought tears to my eyes. Sadly, I'd already had my tea, but I believe I will be stuffing my face there this Sunday.


On the subject of food, I also found a ridiculously good falafel place near where I work. The peppermint tea was also insanely tasty.

It's been going well with Lionel as well- Thursday evening, he took me on a night tour of Kreuzberg. We trekked to the peak of Viktoriapark and had a gorgeous starry view of the city, before going for a coffee.

boulder painted like an eyeball?

Lewis arrived Friday night and it was a very cute reunion, where we actually ran towards each other. Soppy bastards. Saturday, we headed to Charlottenburg, where I hadn't been yet, and had a butchers at the palace there. It was a gorgeous day and so sunny and warm so we walked through the Tiergarten onto Unter den Linden. We turned off down one of the side streets and had a wander around Mitte, before taking a seat in a deckchair on a lawn facing the Berliner Dom. There we listened to some buskers, drinking Berliner Pilsner (which Lewis has decided he adores), soaking up the afternoon sunshine and honestly just loving our lives.

Street market currywurst with onions and so much mayo. Lecker!

Charlottenburg Palace- look how blue the sky is!

a fascinating concept

I love this

 We stumbled into a bar near Görly with pink furry walls but it was so small and crowded so we decided to move on. We found a place called the Havana Bar, which was quite quiet but cheap, you could smoke there and like, most places, gave you prezel sticks with every drink.  It was no really crazy place but it was perfect for me and Lewis to natter like old biddies, and we've decided it's our Berlin eqivalent to a bar we've frequented for a few years in Covent Garden. We stayed until 2am, U-Bahned it home where we continued to drink, watching King Kong and eating half raw pizza. Needless to say, Sunday started off slowly but we fully exhausted the coffee machine before heading out to Potsdamer Platz. I took Lewis to the Holocaust Memorial and the Gay Memorial, before we sought out a MacDonalds and headed to Ostkreuz for no apparent reason. We had a coffee in a little cafe before going to Warschauer Strasse and the East Side Gallery, and sat outside an off-license where the tables were graffitied and the ashtrays were sweetcorn tins. Oh Berlin. 

View from Ostkreuz Station...

Today was just a walk into Kreuzberg, just off Admiralsbrücke, where we sat outside a cafe and chilled in the sun. It was an enjoyable walk and if this weather keeps up, I won't be taking the U-Bahn very often, as it was only a 25 minute walk.

Cuties

It was so good to have Lewis here and I miss him already, but hopefully he'll be back, and if not, I'll go and harass him in London in August. 

Now, soup, tv and an early night.

Tschau! xx

p.s Lewis coined the term 'Berlining', credit where credit is due

Berlin: 10 Little Things

I've been here just over a month, so what I have noticed about Berlin so far?

1) Sparkling water

When I first arrived, I was horrified by it's popularity, and accidentally bought it more than once. On my first day of work, my boss brought me a glass and I kinda just had to suck it up. Since then it's not too bad, I still prefer still water, but my face doesn't contort as much. 

2) U-Bahn 

The U-Bahn is so much cleaner and friendlier than the Paris metro, and I haven't smelt human waste yet. Touch wood. There are beggars and buskers, yes, but not hundreds, and most of the ones I've seen have been quite delightful (the buskers, that is). If Paris was about looking out of the metro at the Eiffel Tower while a bloke played the accordion, then Berlin is about looking at graffiti while a man plays a guitar. The Berliners also seem to understand train etiquette- they always stand aside to let people off the train before piling on. It's a miracle! Saying that, they seem to have no concept of standing on the right hand side on escalators. I still do though, and hope to God I don't pick up the habit of not, otherwise I might just be lynched in England.

No Navigo-style pass here, just a paper ticket!

3) Jaywalking

You're really not supposed to cross on a red man, but I forgot this a few times at the beginning. It's a bit painful sometimes, but if you leg it, you're more than likely going to get very disapproving looks and mutters. Cars will show no mercy. I feel I am obliged to mention the Ampelmann here, as he is very famous and even has his own shop on Unter den Linden (you can even buy Ampelman soaps...)

4) Bikes

GET A BELL. The amount of times I have nearly been knocked over by a cyclist, who then swears at me. Oh, well, I do apologise for not having eyes in the back of my head.

5) Bakeries

The bakeries are out of this world. I recently discovered the Nougat Croissant which was gorgeous. Cherry filled Pfannkuchen, Rosinenschnecke, Brezel, a ridiculous array of doughnuts, and Quark filled pastries...whatever that is. I have cheese and bell pepper bread sometimes for lunch and most mornings I find myself in the bakery for a coffee and something tasty. This is a habit I should probably kick.

Also, in Berlin Pfannkuchen means doughnut (the filled ones, ring ones are just Donuts). Everywhere else it means pancake. I know right.

6) Berlinerisch

Before I got here, I looked up the Berlin dialect and panicked a bit, as it looked utterly incomprehensible. It turns out that I probably don't hang around with proper Berliners, as I haven't heard that much of it and the accent is usually clear, if a little harsh sometimes. People say 'icK' more than 'iCH' which upsets me a bit. I have noticed though, that Tschüssi is very common as a goodbye and I've also heard 'was' pronounced as 'wat'. 'Kiez' means like, district or borough e.g. Kreuzberg is a Kiez. Then there's the nicknames- Kottbusser Tor is known as Kotti, Görlitzer Bahnhof as Görly, Ku'damm is Kurfurstendamm and Alexanderplatz is just Alex. I hope Jean teaches me more!

Edit: I've since learnt that 'Kiez' is a lot smaller than a neighbourhood. People use it to describe the streets where they live, do their food shopping, drink etc. In that sense, it's more of a community thing.

7) The Cinema

I've been to the cinema twice now and I love it, mainly because they do sell salty popcorn, you can drink a beer during the film and the particular cinema I like doesn't show dubbed films, rather the originals with subtitles. I find dubbing really hard to get on with- most of the time, the speech is too fast, monotonous and I find myself watching the actor's mouths trying to work out what they are actually saying or is that just me? It's 9 euros even with a student discount, which is cheaper than Paris, but I really miss The Savoy in Nottingham! 

8) Recycling
They LOVE it. They really do. You think it's stressful having a green box and a black bin? Pah. It was one of the first things my flatmate explained to me, and when I accidentally forgot and put a milk carton in the bin, she literally got it right out again and put it in the correct bag. Now I know.

9) Smoking
I nearly fell over when I first bought 38g of Pall Mall. It cost 5 euros! Insane. You can also buy cigarettes from little machines in the supermarket by the conveyor belts, I'm yet to try. There are quite a lot of bars where smoking is allowed inside, which I find a little gross, and by the time you get outside you've forgotten what oxygen feels like. Though, when they are separate smoking lounges in a bar it reminds me of like, 1995 and pub lunches with the fam. A lot of people smoke in the U-Bahn stations as well and flick the butts onto the tracks, which sets my nerves off!

10) Gesundheit
Okay, so I have sneezed about 1000 times in the office and neither my boss or Marit have EVER said Gesundheit to me. I was bristling at this rudeness, until I asked the other day about it and they said that Germans don't really say it....really? OK. I don't say it to them now either. Small talk doesn't really work here either- I said to my boss 'Oh it's a really nice day isn't it!' and he just looked at me a bit quizzically before saying 'Ja...stimmt'.

I'll leave it here, with this advert which is a real Ohrwurm (song that gets stuck in your head)

tschüssi!
xx

Poland, because I can

After a successful meeting with Jean, my German tandem partner, in an Irish pub it was a little bit difficult getting up on Friday morning but I managed it because that day, I was heading to Stettin (Szezecin) in Poland for the day.

The journey went without a hiccup (incredible). I dozed off for a few minutes and when I woke, freaked out because I couldn't figure out why I couldn't understand any signs out of the window, before realising that the signs were in Polish....

I helped myself to a map from the tourist info (later realising I had the Polish version) and picked up the tourist trail outside the station. I gotta give it to the place, they'd painted a  red lined track through the city for tourists to follow, and at every attraction, there was a number on the floor (corresponding to the map) and an information board in Polish, German and English.

one of the stained-glass windows in one of the like, 8 churches

I was walking for at least an hour before I realised I was starving, so chose a restaurant advertising 'polskie smaki', and ordered spinach pancakes and a homemade apple pie, that had apparently been freshly baked in some woman's house. The apple pie was curious, as it was cold, and with the first spoonful I was sure that a crime against my British palette had been committed until I ate some more and decided it was bloody delicious. The restaurant was great, and the handsome (yes, handsome) waiter spoke excellent English. It was strange being in a place and not knowing the language, and I felt bad at first before sternly reminding myself that I could not learn every language on earth and that it was quite fun to feel like a real tourist. The only downside to this restaurant was their insistence on a George Michael playlist. All the usual, including some dodgy techno remix of Last Christmas.

My whole meal (meal, drink, dessert) came to 35 zloty= £6.93!!

Catherine the Great was born here!!

The trams were just adorable

I walked for another hour or so, before I decided I wanted a coffee so I left the tourist trail and headed roughly back to the centre. I found a huge shopping centre and got a coffee at a kiosk. All was well until I greedily decided I wanted chocolate sprinkles. The lid fell off and chocolate went EVERYWHERE. I cleaned up as best I could, apologising profusely, laughing nervously and, with half the container of chocolate in my coffee, got the hell outta there.

It was then I remembered that I'd missed the Pioneer Cinema, the oldest working cinema in the world, so with the help of the map and my nose, I walked back and found it. Though I did ask a woman if I was definitely going the right way, to which she looked at my map, looked at me for what felt like a whole minute before giving a very firm nod. Okay then.

I'd only seen one tourist shop and that was by the train station, so I headed back there for the sake of my mother's magnet collection and took the other fork of the tourist trail. This trail led me to the town hall, the river, the Pomeranian Dukes' castle and some excellent graffiti.

I'm still laughing at this

It was getting dark so I walked back to where I'd spied some nice looking restaurants. I was quite happy with my choice, deciding on Ghoulasch soup with 'wild sausage' and definitely avoiding the soup with 'two species of fish'. It was, however, a little unnerving when the waiter looked me in the eyes and said 'You need to undress' and holding out his hands. Of course, he just wanted to take my coat etc but still.

Candlelit supper (soup, beer and dessert) for £6.54

There were two English blokes on the table opposite me, who smirked when I tried to order a dessert and the waiter went off to the kitchen looking very confused. They said' Good luck' to me and although it was light-hearted, it did annoy me slightly. The usual attitude you know? They didn't speak a word of Polish but it's okay to mock the Polish waiter with a limited but good knowledge of English? Anyway.

It was pretty much hometime by then, so I headed back to the station, had a coffee and hopped back on the train to Berlin. 

Chenquieh, Poland, for a nice day. With the amount of zlotys I have left, I'm sure I'll be back!

Only photo I took of myself, are you surprised?

Can we go to Kreuzberg now?

Hallo!

The last couple of weeks have been pretty good, despite a horrible cold/chest infection rearing it's ugly phlegmy head on Saturday night. Work has been varied, they said my changes to a translation really improved it (woop) and I can feel my German improving slightly. I write emails in German and ask Marit to check them and twice now she's said all my endings were correct. IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I also finally posted my letters/cards today, my sincere apologies to those of you who have now had your birthdays and babies.

So the weekend before last, Joe came up for the weekend and we started out in a strange bar down my street. It was all very odd (but mainly just boiling) so we jacked it in and had a Burger King.

Joe was raring to go to Kreuzberg so that was, obviously, the first thing we did on Saturday, followed by what was possibly the most incredible Currywurst I have ever had the pleasure of digesting just off Ku'damm.

oh ja

We did get to see a Berlinale film- it was called Macondo and was about Chechynan refugees living in Austria. It was really good...until I fell asleep and missed the last 15 minutes. Are you surprised though? Saturday night consisted of bar hopping in Kreuzberg (you literally can't tear the boy away), starting at Madame Claude's where nearly everything was upside down and glued to the ceiling. That was followed by a slightly more normal cocktail bar, where I happily discovered Wassermelon Man. You can't taste the alcohol-it just tastes like Haribo. The third and final bar (too much rum had been consumed) was a bar called Misfits, which suited me down to the ground, but soon after that we headed back and all I remember is stubbing my cigarette out on my thumb so we could get in the taxi.

Sunday morning was me whinging for quite a while, before we went to the East Side Gallery and I properly tried falafel for the first time. Sweet Lord, it was delightful. 

You've learnt what freedom means, never forget it

I particularly enjoy Joe's foreboding shadow in this

Most of the day was wandering around really, though we did experience Europe's fastest lift. It was like 20 seconds to get to the 24th floor or something - mental, and my ears killed. The view was worth it though!

Chirpy

That weekend was pretty good when it comes to new foods and new bars. On Sunday night, we went for Vietnamese with one of Joe's friends who is also in Berlin and it was insanely good! We went to a lesbian bar on Weserstrasse, which was very strangely decorated - think Grandma's house crossed with a huge picture of a woman with too much pubic hair and a sign that said 'I love my vagina'. That was followed by another bar, where everyone was gathered around the the tv watching Tatort (a popular crime show here). There, Chelsea got us to try the house shot and I swear I thought my chest was going to burst into flames and Saint George would smite me down with his sword as I exhaled gusts of fire through my flaring nostrils. All exaggerations aside, it was bloody rank. An experience, but rank. So then it was bye bye Joe and back to work on Monday.

Last weekend, I met up with my French tandem partner, a nice fellow called Lionel. We had a crepe in Kreuzberg (well, Kotti, for those of you who understand the hip Berlin lingo) and a little walking tour of the canal. It was really nice to meet someone so random and I found it very enjoyable to listen to him struggling to say 'clothes' and 'studying', which was more like 'stood-ay-ing'. To be fair, I embarrassed everyone with my shitty French so I gotta give him credit.

After that, I went to find the Rollberg Kino in Neukoelln. I wasn't entirely sure and it was a bit dark, so I popped into a Lotto and asked the way. Was great, until I said 'oh right, so next left' while madly gesturing to the right.... Got there eventually though, got my ticket to The Wolf of Wall Street, salty popcorn and a beer. The film began with slaves standing in a sugar cane field. I then recognised Chiwetel Ejifor and realised I was in the wrong film. And so I accidentally saw 12 years a slave, and it was actually amazing.

I've got tomorrow and Friday off, which is going to be very nice indeed. I plan on sleeping a fair bit tomorrow to try and fend off the rest of my illness and then hopefully meet a German tandem partner in the evening. Then, Friday, I'm off to Poland for the day. As ya do.

Bis bald xx

Fabulous? Er, it just means sehr, sehr gut...

Hallo! 

I've been in Berlin for over a week now but it feels so much longer. Not in a bad way though, I just feel very comfortable here. I haven't felt very homesick yet but I think that's because I have such a structured routine here already and from the moment I got here had two very friendly flatmates to keep me entertained and distracted. I also feel like this is a more secure move in a way, because when I got to Paris I KNEW I was away from home, because I was in a student residence but here everything just feels very different. That's not to say I don't miss people back home, because I do, it just isn't getting me down. Give it a few more weeks eh.

Anyway, it's been a very good first week. My bank card arrived and I also have my monthly U-Bahn pass. Apart from working, I've had a couple of touristy days- Checkpoint Charlie, Berliner Dom, St. Hedwigs' Cathedral (what a superb name), the Stasi Museum (which I took ages to find and didn't realise I was outside it till I ate lunch. In my defence, the whole old Ministry of State Security complex has now got doctor's surgeries in it), the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, I went shopping on Ku'damm yesterday (thank you Sia, for introducing me to Pull and Bear, new fave) and checked out Potsdamer Platz, where the Berlinale (Berlin Film Festival) is happening right now. No celebrity sightings, I am sad to report, but I did get asked for directions by a very hip looking lady with a dog.

Berliner Dom

Lunch outside what turned out to be the Stasi Museum. 

Dusky 

9/10

shopping like a rich Berlinerin

I'm just gonna have to accept it

Anyway, WORK.  

I was so nervous sitting outside on my first day, mainly because I was confused by the location. I knew it was on a quiet street, but I didn't expect the office to actually be in a ground floor apartment! Anyway, my boss is really nice although he reminds me a bit of my Grandad, in that he is really encouraging but has this really piercing stare when he's waiting for a response which is scary.  He didn't mess around and I was immediately shown the ropes and given work to do!  So far, I've proofread a website, a job advertisement, a cosmetics press release, translated some info about some sort of technical product and made a database of English advertising and communication companies. I feel like I'm learning every day, and having to explain English grammar rules in German keeps me on my toes; it's challenging having to justify why you've chosen a certain word instead of another. We also don't speak English in the office, so even if I am reading in English all day, I am still speaking and listening in German.  

Another girl called Marit works in the same room as me, on the desk opposite, and she seems lovely so far, even though when she speaks I nearly break my ears listening because her accent is really difficult so by the time I've processed the meaning, she's onto the next part and waiting for my answer. 

As for the flatmates, it's been great so far. Last Friday we went for ramen in Kreuzberg (I'm so cool I might do myself an injury) and we just chill watching tv together. Last night, Kat and I watched Winnetou dubbed in German and ate chocolates. That's my idea of chilled home life.

Have any strange things happened? Of course they have. A man offered me one of his muffins (he had three) while I was sitting outside a bakery, a very old woman with platinum blonde hair and drawn on eyebrows like, in her hairline, stared at me on the U-Bahn for an uncomfortable period of time and I saw a man in Aldi pushing around his dog in the trolley, just piling food around it. There's been others, but I found these particularly memorable. 

I'm actually quite excited for the week ahead, just eager to get back to work and see what more interesting things I'll be doing. For the moment, I'm very very keen, whether that'll change after a month or so, we'll see...

Also, Joe is coming to visit at the weekend which will be great and hopefully we're gonna see a film at the Berlinale (fingers crossed!)

Bis bald xx

Kristiy Dwijer- registered and ready to roll

Hallo aus Berlin!

So I made it here fine, and stepped out of Tegel airport into -5 and snow, which I didn't expect (stupidly). The journey to the flat was really easy- someone offered to help me with my luggage and carried my suitcase all the way to the platform! Germany, 10 points.

As predicted, I did get a bit confused. I did find the street easily but it looks like the street has ended, when it actually just goes around the corner...and even then, I wandered into some courtyard and had to waylay a bloke for some help. Turns out my building was next door.

The flat itself is amazing, and get this - I have a kettle AND an oven! Incredible.

my room

Anyway, it's been quite chilled so far. I've had a tour of the neighbourhood during which I nearly cried upon the sighting of  Woolworths, went to a burger place and felt ridiculously alien as I wasn't a massive hipster (there were vinyl stickers all over the windows everyone was wearing beanies, some dudes were playing old-school Mario Kart and there was graffiti all over the walls)  fell over a curb and bought some postcards (obviously.) Yesterday, I registered myself with Neukölln town hall, and got my registration thing stamped with a big Berlin stamp. One for the memory box.

where I registered and walked for about 10 minutes through the building before realising there were 2 entrances.

I've also got a bank account now, and I totally take back what I said about only French people having issues with my name. When I was setting it up, I saw how she'd spelt my name when I booked the appointment: Kristiy Dwijer. I'm fairly sure I spelt it for her actually, which basically means I need to re-evaluate my life if this is how I pronounce German letters....

My other flatmate, Katharina, is German and she's also lovely, even if she did call my mother 'peculiar.' (She meant 'particular') We all had dinner together last night and I did actually feel very comfortable. They're both okay with me smoking on the balcony as well, which is just awesome of them really.

I've also bought a crappy little hoodie for the flat, a hideous furry hat, a German phone, some shopping and have happily consumed two Brezels this afternoon. I'm feeling quite settled here already, which is great, just preparing to be overwhelmed on Tuesday!

Tschüss! x